Let The Lez-Bo's Burn in Fiery Gehenna!

A very good friend of mine has a blog (on another blog-provider that shall remain nameless). Unlike me, this friend (let's call him "Peter") actually has a gift for language. Most of the time my friend and I see completely eye-to-eye - especially on all matters relating to the Catholic Church. At least, I thought we did.

Then, he posted a prose piece (he writes mainly poetry and make no mistake, he writes GOOD poetry). It was about a recent event at a Denver Catholic elementary school. Seems like the pastor of the parish school felt like he had no choice but to bar a couple of kids from said school. The reason? Well, the kids (by all accounts) were pretty nice kids in many respects - but they had the bad fortune of having "two mommies" - (that is, two lesbian parents). I believe my friend "took down" his blog post (can't say why, but I am very happy). So what follows is his post (mixed case) and my response (in large capital letters - because, since I can't hear anyway, I have to SHOUT).

Hello Mike,
I will look forward to seeing you tonight.
"Lovely" was meant in an ironic way, of course. I have no way of knowing whether or not the two women are lovely in any sense of the word.
YES, PETER. YOU ARE VERY GOOD WITH WORDS, AND I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE DOING WHEN YOU USE THOSE WORDS.

As I mentioned in my reply to your comment on the blog site it isn't unreasonable to reach the conclusion that the two people ( the ...in the absence of another descriptive noun...parents) in whose care the child is (now children are) to be found had two objects in mind when enrolling their charges, or seeking to enroll them, in a parochial school.
THEY ARE PARENTS, PETER. IT SEEMS TO PAIN YOU SO MUCH TO GRACE THEM WITH THAT WORD (AGAIN, YOU ARE GOOD AT WORDS!). DO THEY FEED THE CHILDREN? DO THEY WIPE THEIR ASSES AND CLEAN UP THEIR VOMIT? DO THEY GET UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHEN THEY HEAR THEIR CHILDREN SCREAM FROM THE BED? DO THEY WORRY ABOUT THEM? ABOUT WHAT KIND OF LIVES THEY WILL HAVE IN THE FUTURE? ANSWER ME THAT. THEN SEE IF YOU CAN BRING YOURSELF TO CALL THEM PARENTS.

I will not strip them of all human feeling and emotion and say that their purpose was merely utilitarian, political and calculating. No, I believe that they acted in some part with a concern for the welfare and development of the youngster(s), and from motives of their betterment.
WELL, PETER, AS WE USED TO SAY BACK IN THE DAY (THE "DAY" BEING WHEN WE WERE PROTESTING THE VIETNAM WAR, FIGHTING FOR THE CIVIL RIGHTS OF BLACK PEOPLE, AND FOR EQUAL RIGHTS FOR WOMEN - THOSE "DAYS" SO MANY YEARS AGO...)...'THAT'S MIGHTY "WHITE" OF YOU'!!

It is, after all, a commonplace that Catholic primary schools are better for children than most, if not all, public schools anywhere in the whole of these Untied States in a whole universe of ways. It is natural to assume that among the first options for those with means...and many without...for educating their young is to choose to place them where they will get the most advantage and benefit from education.
YEAH, WELL, THAT USED TO BE THE VIEW I HAD OF CATHOLIC SCHOOLS. AGAIN, BACK IN THE DAY WHEN I WENT TO CATHOLIC PAROCHIAL SCHOOLS, THEY SEEMED A LOT MORE TOLERANT. BUT WHAT DID I KNOW? I WAS A KID!! BACK THEN, MOST OF MY CLASSROOM TEACHERS WERE NUNS.

But, in this case the two adults involved with custody and care of the children are homosexuals. You cannot convince me that their choice of accommodating their lives to that fact, and the the fact that there is, not to put too fine a point on it, a war of cultures going on across a broad front today (as it has since Lucifer's "I won't serve!") one of whose battlegrounds involves the institution of marriage, the sacrament of matrimony and the whole structure of human society based on that on marriage and family did not enter into their considerations of a Catholic school for a place to put the childin their care, and possibly to advance their particular way of continuing the battle against tradition, morality and truth.

YOU'RE KIDDING ME, RIGHT?? TRADITION, MORALITY, AND TRUTH? THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GOING WITH?? OK!! YOU WANT TRADITION? I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY THAT SEX (AT LEAST HETERO-SEXUAL SEX) ACTUALLY PRE-DATES MARRIAGE!! I ALSO HEAR THAT HOMO-SEXUAL SEX (YEWWW!) ACTUALLY PRE-DATES "THE CHRISTIAN ERA".

IN FACT, I HEAR THAT THE FIRST HUMAN SEXUAL ACTIVITY "WITNESSED BY GOD" WAS MASTURBATION. AND GOD SAW "IT WAS NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE ALONE". GOOD GRIEF, PETER!!

That they are, or may be Catholic themselves (I do not know) is beside the point...or, perhaps, adds to the whole stew of issues a flavoring at once dark and sour....(SOOOO VERY GOOD WITH WORDS!!!) People who seek entrance to Catholic schools for their children are informed that certain standards apply. No one will perform home visits, or stand at the door of the Church with a clip board in hand to count heads. But, they are put on notice. Even non-Catholic parents are aware that there will be education of their children in the doctrines, dogmas and practices of the Catholic Faith.

OK. SO THE "LEZ-BEAUX" HAVE BEEN PUT ON NOTICE. GIVEN THAT THEY HAD ONE CHILD ENROLLED AND ANOTHER WAITING TO ENROLL FOR THE NEXT SCHOOL YEAR, I THINK THEY WERE PUT ON NOTICE "A LITTLE LATE". KID NUMBER ONE ENROLLED, WHEN? AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SCHOOL YEAR AND THIS WENT DOWN MID-MARCH?

I am sure that these two women were so advised; if not directly, then indirectly in the form of some handout from the school, a Parent's Guide if you will. Thus they had to know, if they did not already know, that they way they lived was problematic. Especially they had to know that if they were Catholic women; as certain politicians who claim the faith know certain things about their behavior, activities and political positions. They had to know that there might be consequences for them and for the child(ren) in their care, also.

YEAH, RIGHT! JUST AS I'M SURE THE PARENTS OF KIDS IN THAT SCHOOL WHO ARE DIVORCED MUST KNOW THAT "THERE MIGHT BE CONSEQUENCES". JUST AS THE PARENTS OF KIDS IN THAT SCHOOL WHO CHEAT ON THEIR TAXES, OR WHO PURSUE LIVES OF CONSPICUOUS CONSUMPTION AND BLATANT MATERIALISM. JUST AS THE PARENTS OF ..... WHAT'ZAT?? THE KIDS OF THOSE PARENTS ARE STILL IN THAT LITTLE CATHOLIC SCHOOL??? ... I AM SHOCKED!

I believe that they made a calculation, given their professed position on the way they live, that one of two things would happen: the parish school would choose to look away and accept their interest in placing a child, or it would not, and at some point deny further access to a Catholic education. NOTE: This is not the same thing as denying a Catholic politician access to the sacraments. No one is being excommunicated here.
WOW! YOU MEAN THE USCCB AND ARCHBISHOP CHAPUT PASSED UP AN OPPORTUNITY TO EXCOMMUNICATE A COUPLE OF "SISTERS OF SAPPHO". WAIT TIL THIS GETS BACK TO ROME!!!

I said above that there is a war of a kind now going on, or continuing in a more heated fashion along a broad front. It is a truism that the first casualty of war is Truth. Father Breslin is insisting that Truth not be a casualty, and that the responsibility we all owe to Truth be maintained and carried by all. One is free to ignore it, but that does not obviate the consequences which result.
In other words, there's no free lunch.

As regards lesbians, children and temples, please see my NOTE above. No one is throwing anyone from anywhere. Both Father Breslin and his Archbishop are careful to point out that teaching a child in the care of two practicing homosexuals some of the things that are Christian doctrine about marriage, and the Commandments of God might be very painful for young ears.

What Father Breslin is doing is simply the same thing as Christ is doing. Sometimes Charity hurts..everyone. It is a lesson which needs teaching, and this is one of those moments. I am sure the Pharisees who were ready to stone the woman caught in adultry were hurt by the words of Christ when they heard the parable. I'd be happy to address the matter in an RCIA class.

PETER, I WOULD ADVISE YOU TO GO BACK TO YOUR BIBLE. IT'S JOHN 8:1-11. I THINK YOU MISSED THE POINT ENTIRELY. IT ISN'T ABOUT WHETHER THE PHARISEES GOT THEIR ITSY BITSY FEELINGS HURT.
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I GET OUT OF THAT SCRIPTURE READING:

..."Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her" ... "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"...She said, "No one sir." AND JESUS SAID,

"Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again."

LIKE THAT MESSAGE, PETER?? 'CAUSE I DO. OF COURSE, I KNOW I'M JUST "CHERRY-PICKING" THE SCRIPTURES.
GOD BLESS, PETER. SEE YOU EASTER MORNING.

What Do You Use for Brains?

I was fortunate enough to be educated in Catholic schools - from grade school (Immaculate Heart of Mary in South St. Louis, MO) up to my first two years of college (Sacred Heart College, now called Newman University, in Wichita, KS). Anyone who is a product of Catholic education will tell you straight away that Catholic schools (at whatever level) are extremely curious institutions (I mean, for God's sake, look at Notre Dame!). For good or for ill, Catholic schools have a profound effect on our spiritual (and emotional) lives.

Just before I entered high school, my family moved to one of the new suburbs sprouting up outside the city of St.Louis. I'd been happily attending I.H. of M. in the city, gaining friends and enjoying growing popularity with my classmates. I expected to attend St.Mary's, the Catholic all boys high school in the city with the rest of my I.H.M buddies (the same high school my father attended a generation before). But it was not to be.

(A side note here on Catholic grade schools being extremely curious places. As witness to the Church's golden age in primary and secondary education, I can tell you there is nothing sexier than seeing a Catholic school girl kneeling before one of the teaching Sisters and having the distance measured between her cute little Catholic school girl uniform's hemline and the classroom floor below.)

But that's not what I want to talk about. I really want to talk about what happened to me one day in art class at St. John Vianney (the brand-spanking new chrome, glass, and brick all-boys school in the suburbs where I did go to high school). It is an episode so tiny, so insignificant as to be almost irrelevant in the totality of my Catholic education.

I was helping to put away materials after class and asked our art teacher (whom I greatly admired), Brother Martin, S.M. how to store some particular paint or paper or brush (the details are murky). Brother Martin turned and looked me straight in the eye and said, "What do you use for brains? Shit??"

At first I was stunned. Dumbfounded. I had never (never!) heard any priest, brother or other "official" representative of a Catholic religious order talk in such coarse terms. I wasn't quite sure if Brother Martin, in all sincerity, really expected an answer from me. (In my grey remembrance, I struggled internally to offer my best guess as to the constitution of my brains).

The reason I remember this event, I think, is because it signaled the end of my childhood faith in the Church, and the beginning of a more leavened (and critical) faith as an adult. In the fullness of time, my Catholic educational experience ended. I went on to public university and became one of the great army of students who protested the Vietnam war, rallied for civil rights, and joined hands with the sisters to fight for equality for women. And, for a period of time, I left the Church behind (call it the "post-Vatican II blues").

Looking back over the years, from the perspective of someone who loves Christ and loves the Catholic Church, here is the lesson I learned. The clergy are just men! (And frankly, that could be a part of the problem). And these men who toil in God's service, who indeed are "servants" to the spiritual needs of their flock ... they have no more of a lock on the Catholic faith than you or I. Did the clergy abuse scandal take a toll on me? Sure. It took a toll on all of us Catholics. Because we were there - in the schools and in the churches - and we should have noticed. (Forget about blaming the bishops and the cardinals. We the faithful should have been the first to notice.)

So in our lives as Catholics, we should get our minds wrapped around a simple truth. Once in a while we are going to stumble upon an "erring priest" (possibly several of them, the longer we remain in the faith). We are going to find bishops, archbishops, cardinals and (dare I say it) even popes who contradict our own beliefs - who do things that fly in the face of what we consider "right" or "fair" or "loving" - that violate how we perceive this great, mysterious faith that we share.

(I believe it was the church father, St. John Chrysostom who said, "Hell is paved with the skulls of priests." But the sentiment is not that priests are just inherently "bad". It's that priests, just by the nature of their work, have so many more opportunities to screw things up. And of course we blame them because we hold them above us and "closer to God". After all, they're priests!)

What to do, what to do? My advice? Get out your Bible and turn to Romans 8:38, 39.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature [even a priest] will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Shit for brains, indeed!

How Catholics Screwed Up Confession

Lately, I've really been getting into the Sacrament of Reconciliation (what we Catholics call "going to confession"). I'm thinking what a confusing and conflicting message we Catholics send about this sacrament! Where does it come from? How did we get here?

I remember as a kid going to confession and how scared to death I was of the priests who waited for me behind the confessional door. (But wait! Back in those pre-Vatican II days, Catholic school children had very good reason to be scared!!) I recall one day at my elementary school, Immaculate Heart of Mary, I had to confess to a priest from "outside" the parish. I couldn't even fall back on my easy familiarity with our mildy rummy, Irish Catholic pastor. No, this priest was of German descent, Fr. Heintz, I think his name was. He probably served at St. Boniface or one of the other German parishes of the diocese. He was a tall, thin, severe-looking man, and he wore a long black cloak that, from the back and with his collar turned up, made him look eerily like Count Dracula. My God that was a scary confession! I quiver still remembering the gruesome details some fifty years later ("You did what!?! How many times??"). But I'm getting off topic.

I think most Catholics at least in the U.S. do not "like" the Sacrament of Reconciliation. It's not an "easy" sacrament like Eucharist. We know the Catholic Church has long taught us to feel guilt for our sins (how else could you feel? when you here the oft-stated but profoundly misunderstood statement, "Christ died for our sins"). So in this country and probably in other places too, Catholics do not like Confession. They stay away from the sacrament in droves. If you ever want to catch a priest at one of the loneliest moments of his ministry, try 3:00 on Saturday afternoon.

Now on the face of it, this fear and loathing of Reconciliation is ridiculous. Here's a few reasons why.

No matter what you did, what you do, (what you've done for fifty years and have tried, so far unsuccessfully, to stop doing), the priest is going to absolve you of your sins. Then he is going to give you "penance". Nine times out of ten, the penance that he gives you is this: he is going to ask you to pray. You been a little bad, he'll say "Pray an Our Father and a Hail Mary". You been really bad, "Pray ten Our Father's, ten Hail Mary's". That's it. Now for most faithful Catholics, that is, the kind who even bother going to confession at all, saying some prayers on a Saturday afternoon is not a horrible thing. Saying prayers is something devout Catholics do all the time. Many Catholics even admit that they kind of like to pray and would do so even if they never went to confession in the first place!

Another thing. A lot of Catholics who like to do things "the easy way", they say, "I just like confessing my sins directly to God". That's pretty lame. Not to mention profoundly unsatisfying. You know why? Because it really doesn't demand anything of you! Even Jesus Christ, fully divine and fully human (and a wonderful human being he was), even Jesus demanded a confession from St. Peter ("Simon Peter, do you love me?") More to the point: How do you know that God absolves you of your sins? Does a voice come out of the sky, "This is my beloved child, of whom I am well pleased"? No? Well, in the confessional you will hear the priest's absolution, you will see the priest's Sign of the Cross (if you receive the sacrament face to face). And when you hear those words, you will feel how you always do, when you've asked someone to forgive you, and have gotten that forgiveness. You will feel at peace. You will feel wonderful! You will feel that everything is going to be all right!

Gee, maybe the Catholics didn't screw up the sacrament after all.

And Another Year Bites The Dust

Well, here we are another year later (or close to it). Am I another year wiser? I hope so. Almost as much as I hope I'm another year closer to retirement. So, yeah, I was downsized at my last company - the cushy I.T. job at the training company. Me and about 5 other people - most of us old and "making big bucks".

That's OK. When God closes a window He opens a door. I'm now working as a bonafide DBA at a small privately funded software company. I am hopeful that we can get our product out the door in the time-frame we have committed to our customer. The nice part about this company is that most of the people are terrific. And the work is challenging (not necessarily the technical work but the negotiating, management, training, and business aspects of the work).

This is probably the most diverse group of people I've worked with since my days at the semiconductor company. Lots of non-Euro/Americans! Lots of technical and management 30-somethings who are just beginning to think they are flat out geniuses to be in the software development business. Wow!! Just think! We actually get paid to twitter and send text messages from our iPhones and Blackberrys

An Ode to Matthew MacDonald

Wow! Where did the summer go? All in all, it was pretty eventful. I played some golf (but not enough). My boss got "downsized" (never go into "I.T. management" - it's not a good long-term career move). And my company moved a little closer in to Boston - thus, negating my annual raise by increasing my commuting cost. But enough of all that.

I am here to give praise to Matthew MacDonald, technoid and author extraordinaire for Apress publishing. As noted in some of my past posts, I started my career as a technical writer - so I tend to be pretty critical of most technical books (of which, according to my wife, I have entirely too many. Currently, Matt is my all-time favorite author. It seems to me slightly unfair that a man can be so geeky and yet so well spoken. So, Matt, if you're out there and you read this ... I love you, babe!

A Tale of Two Programmers

Once upon a time there was a programmer named Shawn. I never told Shawn this when we worked together - but I had a heck of a lot of respect for him. Shawn was what I call a pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstrap programmer. Shawn and I worked together in the IT department of a textile mill. We were never really close because we are very different people. Shawn is still a young man and single. I am neither of those things. Shawn grew up in a very tough town and never had the benefit of a college education. But make no mistake. Shawn was a very sharp guy - not only was he technically pretty savvy - he was also people-smart. At one time, Shawn worked on the shop floor and pretty much talked his way into the IT department. Certainly, Shawn new when to draw the line between work and play (and oftentimes he wound up squarely on the side of play). But the admirable thing about him was that he certainly wasn't afraid of work and he definitely knew he had the smarts to succeed at work. Not a bad co-worker.

After I left the mill I went to work in the IT department of a specialty retailer and met another "programmer" - let's call him Rick. Rick and I were on the same application team. We worked very closely together because we were considered the two Windows programmers in a shop that was mainly populated with AS/400 programmers. Rick was considered a Windows programmer because he was somewhat proficient in Microsoft Access (?!). As soon as I joined his team, Rick was constantly telling me what a great programmer I was and how much more I knew than the other people he had worked with. He was constantly wanting to get my design ideas on tasks that he had been working on. Before I knew it, I was "helping" Rick do his work (while unbeknown to me, he was taking full credit). Rick's favorite come on was, "I wonder if I could pick your brain for a minute.".

Keep in mind that Rick graduated from a state university with a degree in computer science. Yet he had neither the work ethic or the intellectual curiosity to expand his knowledge and skill set in his chosen profession. Rather, Rick became very good (probably from a very early age) in getting others to do his work and in thinking up creative excuses about why he couldn't get his assignments done (always some one else's fault, not his).

I know I shouldn't judge other people. But it's really hard for me to respect anyone who consistently avoids work like Rick. My problem? I probably have higher expectations for Rick than he has for himself. That's a pity.

And What Exactly Does That Have to do With I.T.?

Ah, yes! What does fear have to do with technology? With I.T. as it's called today? With programming? Oh just everything and nothing. One thing that I should make clear here (a dark secret that I have alluded to in past posts and that I will now reveal again - much to my mortification and embarrassment). Here it comes: Not only do I "remember" IBM punch cards (which I refer to more appropriately, I think, as Hollerith cards), not only have I read about them in textbooks titled "The Historical Underpinnings of Automated Data Processing Systems" - but I have actually (drum roll please) used them in my professional career.

In short, I am not only a Catholic programmer, I am also an old, Catholic programmer! And anyone who remains at the level of programmer for many years can tell you - a certain amount of fear (I would say a good amount of fear) comes with the job. It is, as we say in the trade, "built-in", "hard-wired", "the nature of the beast". Sure, the context and quality of the fear may change throughout your career in I.T. - but it is always there.

I remember when I was just getting into programming when my biggest fear was would I be able to handle the transition from being a tech writer to being a IBM mainframe COBOL programmer. Would I be able to understand the complexities of a PERFORM VARYING UNTIL statement? That was good for a few short years. Until the dawn of "client-server" computing. Then I worried if I could ever make the jump from mainframes to PC's - and could I convince potential employers that indeed I had re-tooled my skillset for the '90's. Would hiring managers actually believe that a 40 year old "senior developer" could actually distinguish between the left mouse button and the right mouse button?

Speaking of fear, I am not afraid to say that I have successfully put my "Senior" days behind me (when whatever job title I had at the time was preceded by the word "Senior"). Today, I'm not interested in any job title with a "Senior" attached - unless of course it comes with a senior discount.

Most mid-level software people ultimately reach a point in their careers where the biggest fear in I.T. takes over - the point when you fear they will stop giving you more money unless you go into "management". But this is definitely best left as the topic for a later blog. My next blog, though will be about two very real people - programmers in the trade - and how each dealt with the fear of the "the technology merry-go-round". Until then, ... dominus vobiscum.